Far and away, the most frequently asked question I receive as a writer with bipolar and anxiety is, “How did you get to a place where you could be this open about your struggles?” It’s usually followed with a question like, “Aren’t you scared?” I used to be terrified. Like many folks with a mental illness, one of the first things we’re told is to keep it to ourselves. At … [Read more...]
Transicionar como persona no binaria
[Descripción de imagen: dos fotos, una al lado de la otra, de le autore de cintura para abajo. Elle está de pie. Es una persona joven, delgada y blanca. En la foto de la izquierda está vistiendo camisa de cuadros con rayas azules, moradas y grises, un reloj verde, vaqueros negros, y zapatos con formas azules, moradas y grises. En la foto de la derecha lleva un vestido rosa con … [Read more...]
4 Things Everyone Should Know About Eating Disorders in Marginalized Communities
We believe that there must be space to tell the story of EVERY body and we are grateful to those who have shared their stories with us so that we might share them with you. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, there is help. You can reach the toll-free, confidential National Eating Disorders Association Helpline in the US at 1-800-931-2237. You are not alone. I was … [Read more...]
5 Ways People With Thin Privilege Can Fight Body Terrorism
Hey, fellow folks with thin privilege (you should know who you are): We need to talk. I’ve been seeing a lot of people equating skinny shaming and fat shaming — and I want to declare, on the record, that this is wrong and harmful. There is a huge difference between skinny shaming and fat shaming, and it’s a difference of scale and systemic power dynamics. Body shaming against … [Read more...]
I Was My Own Body Terrorist and My Transition Saved My Life
I was distracted. Because I was designated female at birth, I had a lot to worry about when it came to my body. Was I thin enough? Was I beautiful enough? Was I alluring, desirable, fuckable? Would anybody want me? I was a teenager immersed in beauty ideals, expectations, and ultimately, body terrorism. The sheer amount of time I spent ruminating on my weight, on my … [Read more...]
Unlearning How To Be Thin: Weight Is Not an Indicator of Health
I recently read a post in which a woman asked whether others had experienced the phenomenon of being healthy in a larger body, yet having people point out their weight in making negative diagnostic assumptions about their health. She explained that it’s a double edged sword of presumption: Not only do people claim she can’t be healthy at the size she is now, but that she was so … [Read more...]
New Year, Same You: An Anti-Resolution To Fall in Love With Yourself
I was in love with my last partner. For three years, we were together and I proposed to him on his birthday. His calm personality played off of my nervous energy, his logic focused my passion, and his love of cooking balanced my love of eating. Moving out of the home we shared - the life we built together - was the singularly most heartbreaking thing I’ve done in my adult … [Read more...]
Hugs Not Required: Respecting Children’s Bodies and Boundaries
The Body is Not an Apology promotes radical self love and body empowerment. If we are to truly advocate for these values, then we need to not only do this work for ourselves as adults, but do it for children as well. We adults struggle with these issues mainly because of the culture we were raised in and how the adults in our childhood treated us. Knowing this, I believe we … [Read more...]
All That I Did Not Know: Supporting My Transgender Kid
In 2012, my kid West came out as genderqueer and now identifies as non-binary. Although assigned a gender of female at birth, West does not fit inside binary gender categories and uses the pronouns they, their, and them. For West, gender is fluid; sometimes, they move between male and female, and at other times, they are outside the binary altogether. My reactions to West … [Read more...]
Embrace Your Own Beauty Standards: Corseting and Radical Self-Love
When I went to my first corset booth at a Steampunk convention, I was very embarrassed. I had only seen corsets in the media on very thin models, so I was sure that no one would make a corset big enough to fit me. The artistry of these handmade, steel-boned garments was amazing, though, and I had to inquire about them. At the booth were men and women, of all shapes, assisting … [Read more...]
10 Tips for Introducing Disability to Kids
As parents, there are so many things that we need to help our kids learn. I think every parent or guardian has had a similar experience of the first time their toddler saw someone with a visible disability. Maybe the child saw a person in a wheelchair, or someone with dwarfism, and they pointed and stared. Perhaps the child said loudly, “Look! What is wrong with that person?” … [Read more...]
“But They Were Nice… So Why Did I Hate Dance Class?” On Being Fat and Feeling Safe
Ever since I was in senior high school, I wanted to learn how to dance. I’d done a bit of dancing as a kid, but it was not until I was about eighteen that I got truly bitten by the dancing bug. And while many of the other things I was obsessed with back then have failed to keep my interest, my enthusiasm for dancing has never wavered. I think that, more than anything, … [Read more...]
When I Broke Up With My Diet
[Content Warning: Some swearing and weight-loss/diet talk.] Up until about four years ago, I was in a long-term relationship. It had lasted, on and off, for fifteen years, and whenever we were together, it was the most intense relationship I’ve ever had. But it was a bad relationship, based on false hopes and promises of a better life, while giving me nothing much but … [Read more...]
Finding Peace in Putting Myself First
Until a few years ago, radical self-love was a foreign concept to me. Growing up in a culture in which women are secondary to everything and everyone else, I thought that self-love was selfish. How could I love myself more than my partner or my children? I’m sure many women can relate to that question. We are taught, from the time we are little girls, that boys are first. I … [Read more...]
