[Content Warning: Some swearing and weight-loss/diet talk.] Up until about four years ago, I was in a long-term relationship. It had lasted, on and off, for fifteen years, and whenever we were together, it was the most intense relationship I’ve ever had. But it was a bad relationship, based on false hopes and promises of a better life, while giving me nothing much but … [Read more...]
Help Isn’t a Favor: Creating Intimacy and Connection in Disability
I’m that girl, the one everybody goes to when there’s a crisis. I’m there, sorting it, finding out, lending a hand, raising money. That’s me. That was me. Then, one day, I was the crisis. And Then She Fell is the soft title of a memoir of recent events that I never plan to write. I keep making up titles for the not-book, though. It helps me try to make sense of senseless … [Read more...]
Finding Peace in Putting Myself First
Until a few years ago, radical self-love was a foreign concept to me. Growing up in a culture in which women are secondary to everything and everyone else, I thought that self-love was selfish. How could I love myself more than my partner or my children? I’m sure many women can relate to that question. We are taught, from the time we are little girls, that boys are first. I … [Read more...]
Why My Broken Body is Worthy of Delighting In
This article first appeared on Postmodern Woman and is reprinted with permission Content Warning: For Discussion of Sexual Assault This past year has been so exhausting. Not because I was working hard (though I have been), not because I'm still in mourning (which I am), and not because I desperately miss my family and friends (which I do). No, the reason is much more insidious … [Read more...]
Perfection is Hazardous and Scars are Inevitable So I Might As Well Learn to Love Them
Even though I know no body is perfect — unblemished — it’s very difficult for me to come to terms with acquiring a new scar. The moment I start to feel the physical pain, I also begin berating myself for being careless — or wishing I could go back in time to not do the thing that will leave a permanent mark. In addition to being aesthetically unpalatable to me as a … [Read more...]
Losing My Religion (Literally): On Atheism, Acceptance, and A Little Advice
The fact that my father never came to mass with the rest us didn’t bother me as a child. It registered in the same capacity as the fact that he worked night shifts or that Spanish was spoken in my house as often as English—distinctions between my home life and that of my peers, but nothing worth an existential crisis. I was seven or eight when I stood in our garage and asked … [Read more...]
Practicing Radical Self-Love: Why You Need Self Care The Most When It Seems Impossible
Last week, for the first time in my entire life, my skin erupted with red, swollen hives. Every inch of my skin felt like it was on fire. At first, I thought I was experiencing an extreme allergic reaction to something new — although I’ve never before been this allergic to anything — but then I learned that I was experiencing an anxiety attack. For the first time in my … [Read more...]
“You’re Fired:” 3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Find the Best Therapist
The Body Is Not an Apology’s goal is to share the myriad ways human bodies unshackle the box of “beauty” and fling it wide open for all of us to access. Our goal is to redefine the unapologetic, radically amazing magnificence of EVERY BODY on this planet. When we do, we change the world! Join the movement and become a subscriber today! bit.ly/NoBodiesInvisible. Admitting … [Read more...]
How I Learned to Wear Red Lipstick: On Self-Presentation in the Small Things
A couple of years ago, I complimented a classmate on her outfit as we were waiting for the professor to arrive. “I love that lipstick color on you,” I said. “Thanks!” she replied. “It was just a red lipstick kind of day, you know?” “Well, I don’t really wear red lipstick, but it looks so gorgeous on you,” I said. “Why don’t you?” she asked. “I bet you’d look amazing … [Read more...]
Let’s F#ck It Up: 3 Things They Don’t Want You To Know About Taking A Revolutionary Selfie
“This is an experiment in not being afraid of seeing myself. Of not being afraid of seeing my body. And, more importantly for me, not being afraid of other people seeing these things. So, enjoy the photos. I'm not sure all of them will be flattering, but I hope to have more than 314 pictures by the end of this year.” These are the words that opened my first self-love photo … [Read more...]
We Are What We Eat: Food Justice As An Act of Radical Self Love
I came late to the food justice movement. I wasn’t even really aware of what food justice was again until 2004 when I first heard of calls to boycott Taco Bell by tomato pickers. I was living in Tampa, Florida at the time and had to commute past farms in order to get to work. As news of the boycott spread, I began to see the people working in those fields who were mostly … [Read more...]
What I Teach My Son When I Say I Am Fat: Practicing Self Love for Our Children’s Sake
This piece first appeared on the author's blog, Bipolar Spirit, and is reprinted here by permission. You can read more of Katie's work on her site RevKatieNorris.com. In When Your Mother Says She's Fat by Kasey Edwards, the author writes a letter to her mom about what she learned when her mother insulted herself about her weight. What Edwards learned struck a cord for me – and … [Read more...]
You Are Not Responsible For Your Parents’ Behavior
Victims of childhood abuse, rape survivors, and victims of domestic violence – or what I prefer to call domestic terrorism – are really good at one thing: feeling guilty. We can feel guilty about everything, particularly things that aren’t our responsibility. Victims are taught to feel responsible for the actions of perpetrators and, as a result, feel guilty about everything. … [Read more...]
Maintaining Your Safe Space
The Body Is Not an Apology’s goal is to share the myriad ways human bodies unshackle the box of “beauty” and fling it wide open for all of us to access. Our goal is to redefine the unapologetic, radically amazing magnificence of EVERY BODY on this planet. When we do, we change the world! Join the movement and become a subscriber today! bit.ly/NoBodiesInvisible. Like many … [Read more...]
