As required reading for a workshop class, I recently read Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl. I found it pretty “meh” as far as essay collections go, but one bit stuck out for me: a description of how Dunham’s grandmother “had fled her sheltered life for Mount Holyoke College, Yale nursing school, and then the army, where she was stationed in Germany and Japan suturing wounds … [Read more...]
Killing Normal: How the Desire for Normalcy Ruins Self-Love
Let's start by defining the word normal. What does it even mean, where did it come from, and how has it been used? According to the Etymology Online Dictionary, the word normal dates back to the 1500s and was used as an adjective, meaning typical or common. Later, in the 1640s, it was defined as standing at a right angle, commonly used in carpentry. As a noun, it dates back to … [Read more...]
Todo lo que mis seres queridos aprendieron cuando salí del armario
No tuve una experiencia perfecta cuando salí del armario como transexual. Muchos amigos y conocidos no fueron capaces de cambiar su percepción sobre mí y no entendieron los nuevos términos que estaba usando para describirme a mi mismo. Al mismo tiempo que conocía nuevas personas y hacía nuevos amigos, tenía que luchar diariamente con salir del armario. Pero tuve suerte porque … [Read more...]
Full Pussy Mooning
[Sexually explicit content] [Image description: The watercolor painting shows a landscape of green trees, hills, and meadows with a quarter-moon waxing to full against a darkening beige sky. Copyright Nomy Lamm.] Every night, the moon changes. Dancing, shifting, like a long slow wink or an elaborate fan dance. She is dark, hiding, then a fingernail of light; waxing, … [Read more...]
Talking to Family Members about Transphobia
Talking to family members about transphobia can be an incredibly difficult task. So often, our family members, who should be pillars of support, are the first to turn away and close their minds and hearts to our identities. This can be incredibly painful emotionally, and can also involve emotional, verbal, or physical abuse or disownment. With these hard truths in mind, how do … [Read more...]
Learning to Love My Body Shape
[Image description: The photograph shows the author, a white woman in her 30s. She is sitting on a fence wearing a red short-sleeved shirt and blue shorts, and she is wearing a Wonder Woman corset from The Bad Button. She has graying black hair pulled back and is wearing a pair of red-framed glasses. She is smiling and looking into the camera. Photograph copyright … [Read more...]
How I Survived the Big Chop
I remember sitting in my grandma’s kitchen waiting for the hot comb to heat up. As it began to get hotter, I could smell the burnt hair and product fumes rising from the teeth of the comb. It was nearly impossible for me to sit still as the piercing hot comb hovered centimeters away from my tender scalp. A few years later, my mom decided that I should start getting relaxers. I … [Read more...]
Why I No Longer Apologize For My Crutches
[Text descriptions for all photos appear at the end of the piece.] Denise Jolly figured it out within the first few frames of our photo shoot: I don’t like to smile. Or, more accurately, I have a fake smile. The one that has haunted me for years. The one that shows my bucked teeth. Those imperfect teeth are a metaphor for my childhood. Every year, my mother would buy … [Read more...]
Restraining Disorder: A Road to Me
In a world saturated with bad reality TV, one of my favorite shows is The Biggest Loser. In a recent episode, after reaching the milestone of losing one hundred pounds, one of the contestants exclaimed, “I’m learning to love someone I’ve never known. I am learning to love someone who I never knew existed.” My problem was never weight or addiction. My problem was that I was … [Read more...]
Calming My Senses, Part 3: An Inside-Out Approach
[Image description: A photo of the author from behind. They are a young, white, thin non-binary person wearing a light blue t-shirt and dark pants. They are meditating, sitting cross-legged in front of a shelf with candles lit on it.] So far, the strategies I've been outlining all follow an “outside-in” approach: physical activities I do to regulate my inner systems. And … [Read more...]
Calming My Senses, Part 2: Sensory Regulation On-The-Go
[Headline and in-text image description: A photo of the author's head and shoulders. They are a young, thin, white non-binary person with short, light brown hair. They are wearing large orange sunglasses, a blue hoodie with black stripes, and a red shirt. The hoodie is pulled over their head. Pink and yellow foam earplugs are visible in their ears.] This is a picture of me … [Read more...]
Calming My Senses, Part 1: Proprioception and Deep Pressure
[Image description: A photo of the author using a therapressure brush on their forearm. They are a white non-binary person wearing a blue t-shirt with graphics of birds on it. The brush is made of white plastic with soft bristles that they are smoothing along one arm with the other hand.] Since I wrote my first post about sensory overload, I've had the opportunity to meet … [Read more...]
The Body Is Not an Apology
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