How Do We Really See Each Other Across Identities?: Notes From a Queer Breakup December 10, 2019 by The Queer Insomniac Leave a Comment Almost a year after separating from my partner, we had a second breakup. Our first breakup, though incredibly painful, was what I can only describe now as tender. After trying to surmount the difficulty of a nearly ten-year age difference, our romantic relationship ended upon the realization that I was not yet ready to "settle down" and wanted more time to explore life as … [Read more...]
Hot Boi Summer?: Navigating the Pressure To Alter My Non-Binary Body November 2, 2019 by MicahHobbes_Frazier Leave a Comment Writer's note: i write in lower case; it's my small rebellion. i’m mad. i’m mad that gender rules dictating what is “appropriate dress” for female and male bodies have me thinking about surgically altering my body. i love my body. i love how it’s feminine and masculine at the same time. i love the curve of my belly and the muscle line when i flex my triceps. i love how my … [Read more...]
6 Questions To Ask Your Partner When You Have More Privilege Than Them October 5, 2019 by Anis Gisele, Guest Writer Leave a Comment This piece was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com under the title "6 Questions to Ask If You Have More Privilege Than Your Partner" and is republished with permission. Content note: This article briefly alludes to suicidal ideation and eating disorders. I learned to be a girlfriend through ’90s American rom-coms. 90% of the time, I learned, I had to be … [Read more...]
Thwarted Belonging and Reasons for Hope: Queer Black Trans Pain Matters September 6, 2019 by Regina Leslie Leave a Comment Content note: This article includes (non-graphic) discussion of a completed suicide. One of my closest friends died by suicide. The days after their death were jarring and bewildering. I carefully tried to drink water, only to involuntarily spit it up while sobbing. I tried to eat, only able to eat soup and beans. (To my horror, the hot Funyuns a friend offered made me … [Read more...]
Mixed-Race, Non-Binary, Queer Fat Femme: How I Fail and Succeed in Finding Liberation August 15, 2019 by Cicely Blain Leave a Comment I am a Black, mixed-race, fat, queer, non-binary person. Most saliently, I am femme. I have come to understand radical femmeness, femme magic, femme community, femme love, and femme power through my relationships with other womxn and femmes of color. While femme communities evoke safeness and security for me, they also often exist on the basis of trauma. Femininity leaves us … [Read more...]
El Amor Romantico Nos Mata: Quien Cuida De Nosotros Cuando Somos Solteros? August 11, 2019 by Caleb Luna and Ana Maroto Leave a Comment Soy una persona deprimida, pero deprimida es un verbo. Considero mi depresión como el resultado de una posición social y de la inevitable historia de colonización, racismo, del estigma de la gordura y de la discriminación. Estoy tomando antidepresivos, pero éstos solo pueden reprogramar la química de mi cerebro y no la realidad social y material en la que vivo. No puede … [Read more...]
3 Reasons We Need To Be Critical of Compulsory Sex Positivity in Queer Spaces August 2, 2019 by Caleb Luna 1 Comment Sex positivity often acts as an implicit — or sometimes explicit — foundation of leftist, feminist, and LGBTQ+ spaces for completely valid reasons. As women and queers, sex has been the driving force behind both our oppression and the spaces we create to separate, heal, and liberate us from our oppression. Sexualized spaces for socializing predate our modern understanding of … [Read more...]
Black Girls Cut Too: Self-Harm and Intergenerational Trauma July 5, 2019 by Stacey Stevenson, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Content note: detailed references to self-harm methods I started burning myself at 15. A friend and I burned ourselves in an attempt to engrave a symbol on our arms. After going to the local mall and buying a book on witchcraft, we decided we needed a symbol of our commitment to our new two-person coven. We drew up a draft of our symbol containing our initials (S & T) and … [Read more...]
Why I Refuse To Believe Being Femme Invalidates My Queerness June 29, 2019 by Tiffany Lee Leave a Comment My femme identity is rooted in conjuring up as much softness and pleasure as I can. This world can be incredibly hard and harmful, especially for marginalized folx. Femme-embodiment is my magic of choice to help me navigate through it all. As magic as it is, my gender expression also prompts people to approach me with the “… but you look straight” comment upon "discovering" … [Read more...]
5 Ways Mexican Queerness Is a Radical Act Against Colonialism and Machismo June 22, 2019 by Erika_Ruiz Leave a Comment I am a queer non-binary person. The labels I use to describe this queerness are always changing and hardly ever stay static, but I am undoubtedly queer. I also come from a Mexican household. Both of my parents were born in the state of Jalisco and migrated to the United States when they were a young newlywed couple. I exist in the intersection of these identities as a queer … [Read more...]
My Queer Sex-Positive Life: Unlearning the Gendered Sexual Shame That Kept Me Disempowered May 8, 2019 by Jamila Reddy Leave a Comment This article was originally published by Jamila Reddy under its original title "Sex-Positivity Means Unlearning Shame" and is republished with permission. When I was five years old, my parents gave my sister and me a book called Where Did I Come From. Published in 1973, the book featured illustrations and explanations of how babies are made. On the front and back covers … [Read more...]
How White LGBT Spaces Erase Queer People of Colour April 5, 2019 by Mari Ramsawakh Leave a Comment This article has been republished from Xtra, and is reprinted here by permission. For as long as I could remember, I had always known I was queer in some way. In the way that my feelings for girls and women around me seemed to be more intense than they were supposed to, or the way that I would feel very strange if I happened to see a sexy scene of a woman in a … [Read more...]
An Act of Knowing: Moving Towards a Black Femme Politic November 26, 2018 by Cortez Wright Leave a Comment When I was a child. What age, I can’t remember. But when I was a child tends to suffice for stories like this. When I was a child, I would play dress-up with my little sister. I’m the oldest of four. Theoretically, I should have been playing with my older, decidedly more butch cousin. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who you ask – I was always just a tad bit too … [Read more...]
Fat Black Queer Femmes Are the Fetishized Backbones of Our Communities — But Who Takes Care of Us? July 25, 2018 by Alexandra "Aly" Thomas Leave a Comment This article was originally published on Rest for Resistance as "Labor, Chaotic Desire & Belonging: On Blackness, Femininity, and Queerness" and is republished with permission. This is for the queer fat Black femmes. As children, we learn that we never occupy just one, but all, of our identities. Not a fat girl or a Black girl, but a fat Black girl. In elementary school, … [Read more...]
My Biracial Identity: Figuring Out Where Is Home July 16, 2018 by Maya Gittelman Leave a Comment My ancestry manifests in me as the aftermath of an ongoing battle. My body is the convergence of bloodlines that span continents. My heritage is layered, textured with palimpsest and patina. I am dual, simultaneous. I encompass the oppressor and oppressed, the privileged and the disenfranchised. I am mixed. Specifically, I am mixed Filipinx and white. This identity is a … [Read more...]
