Si le preguntases a mi madre o a mi novia cuándo hice algo equivocado, te dirán algo como, “Bueno, conociendo a Quita, ella nunca hace nada equivocado”. Pero incluso la Princesa de la Perfección tiene que admitir cuándo se equivoca. Mi viaje de cuidarme a mi misma está en un proceso en el que estoy haciendo más cosas mal de las que no. Como alguien que se ocupa en el trabajo … [Read more...]
The Greatest Gift My Parents Ever Gave Me: Allow Yourself to be Selfish
When my brother and I were growing up, we developed a lie that we sustained until adulthood. We pretended to not want things. When we went to Wal-Mart or Fred Meyer’s, we averted our eyes from the aisles of toys and books and electronics. When we were caught staring too long, too longingly, at anything, our father would immediately grab it and eagerly ask, “Do you want … [Read more...]
Who is the Body Positivity Movement Leaving Behind?
Over the past few weeks, Ashley Graham and Tess Holliday have been featured in many headlines. Ashley Graham is the first plus-sized model to be featured in an ad in Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. Tess Holliday, who is known for her viral #effyourbeautystandards campaign, is the first plus-sized model of her size to be signed to a major modeling agency. While both … [Read more...]
Seeing More: Fighting Depression through Radical Empathy
I used to believe that intense focus and concentration were the best way of being. I would spend hours practicing music, hours meditating, hours focusing on just one little thing. The more the world disappeared around me, the better I was supposed to be. Capitalism and patriarchy train us to work really hard and excel at one skill in order to be worthy and recognized. But … [Read more...]
One Way to Honor MLK: Please Stop Saying You’re Colorblind
This article was originally published on Write Away and is republished with permission. “I don’t see race. I’m colorblind.” I’ve heard it said many times, and I’m confident the speaker always meant well. However, those words have never made me feel better. The intention is well meaning, but the words, at best, are misleading—suggesting that the impossible is feasible. … [Read more...]
No soy tu muestra
No soy fan del discurso del Dr. King “Tengo un sueño” y del modo que la mayoría de la gente lo interpreta. Muchos olvidan que el principio del discurso se centra en el fracaso de la supremacía blanca del gobierno americano para cumplir la promesa de la proclamación de emancipación y la democracia para toda esta gente. Pero realmente me avergüenzo de la frase “Tengo el sueño de … [Read more...]
Misogynoir: Sexism and Racism in the Lives of Black Women
#BlackWomensLivesMatter #BlackWomenMatter #Bringbackourgirls #Sayhername #Blacktranswomenslivesmatter #MuteRKelly These are just a few of the hashtags that have become popular in the past years to bring attention to violence experienced by black women. There has been much discussion lately about the invisibility of violence against black women, whether this … [Read more...]
Ain’t We Femme?
This post is dedicated to all of the femmes! When I was a child, Easter was my favorite time of year. Every year, my mom always got me an Easter basket full of goodies. At church, we got to recite our Easter speeches in front of the whole congregation. And after the sermon, they would host an Easter egg hunt for the young folks. They even had a golden egg with money … [Read more...]
Ten Counterproductive Behaviors of Well-Intentioned People
This is a follow-up to my previous piece entitled Ten Counterproductive Behaviors of Social Justice Educators. The latter was written for folks who consider equity work as their core life purpose. I wrote Ten Counterproductive Behaviors of Well-Intentioned People for the folks who consider themselves good people invested in social justice and conversations around … [Read more...]
5 Ways I Teach My Children Intersectional Feminism… And Why It Matters
The Maine of my childhood was a very homogenous state in terms of race and really of class, at least in my small town. For the most part, everyone I knew looked like me. Their families looked like mine. We usually practiced the same religion and even when we didn’t, we knew the language. Even so, I was different. I was the weird kid, quirky, and the other kids bullied me for … [Read more...]
6 Ways Well-Intentioned People Whitesplain Racism (And Why They Need to Stop)
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. Picture this: You’re fed up with being the target of street harassment. If you’re a woman, queer, trans, and/or gender non-conforming, it’s probably not hard to imagine. Just think of one of those days when you’ve gotten too many unsolicited comments on your appearance, too many requests … [Read more...]
Don’t Purge Your White Friends on Facebook: 8 Actions for Racially Aware White Folks Before Unfriending a Bigot
On my feed I was excited to see a post called the 7 Stages of White People Getting Woke. Great--someone outlining the emotions and actions white folks go through when we first open our eyes to the truth of systemic racism in this country. I was all on board for recognizing white privilege, researching the pervasiveness of racism, feeling the feelings, connecting to others, … [Read more...]
An Act of Knowing: Moving Towards a Black Femme Politic
When I was a child. What age, I can’t remember. But when I was a child tends to suffice for stories like this. When I was a child, I would play dress-up with my little sister. I’m the oldest of four. Theoretically, I should have been playing with my older, decidedly more butch cousin. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who you ask – I was always just a tad bit too … [Read more...]
Talking Racism with a Racist Relative in 4 Easy…(um NO) IMPORTANT Steps
A great distance separates me from my family. Not just geographical, they live in Maine and I live in Georgia, but also the distance of identity. I am a leftist, agnostic who practices a vague form of religious expression that encompasses paganism and Catholicism. They are right wingers with a strong belief in Evangelical Christianity. Conversations at the Thanksgiving dinner … [Read more...]
