Almost a year after separating from my partner, we had a second breakup. Our first breakup, though incredibly painful, was what I can only describe now as tender. After trying to surmount the difficulty of a nearly ten-year age difference, our romantic relationship ended upon the realization that I was not yet ready to "settle down" and wanted more time to explore life as … [Read more...]
10 Ways Your Social Justice Work Might Be Inaccessible and Elitist (And Why That’s a Problem)
The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. I’m an artist first. But I decided long ago that my art would be in the service of fighting oppression. Since then, I’ve waded more deeply into social justice spaces, and I find myself surrounded more and more by people professing these same aspirations. Being in these spaces has … [Read more...]
Not Easy, Still Worth It: 4 Strategies for White People to Address a Racist Relative’s Racism
A great distance separates me from my family. Not just geographical -- they live in Maine and I live in Georgia -- but also the distance of identity. I am a leftist agnostic who practices a vague form of religious expression that encompasses paganism and Catholicism. They are right-wingers with a strong belief in evangelical Christianity. Conversations at the Thanksgiving … [Read more...]
I Was a Racist Teacher and I Didn’t Even Know It
This article was originally published in Education Post and is republished with permission. I was a racist teacher and I didn’t recognize it. At the time that I taught, I would have argued that I was the opposite. I was a progressive, a Democrat. I campaigned in my progressive town in Western North Carolina for the first Black man to run for the U.S. Senate against a notorious … [Read more...]
7 Ways Non-Black People of Color Perpetuate Anti-Blackness
It's well-known that the common enemy among communities of color is white supremacy. Due to the wide-reaching impacts of institutionalized white supremacy, many communities of color fail to examine their own problematic behavior towards each other, especially towards the Black community. With that in mind, it's important to better understand how anti-Blackness functions even … [Read more...]
5 Ways I Teach My Children Intersectional Feminism (And Why It Matters)
The Maine of my childhood was a very homogenous state in terms of race, and really also of class, at least in my small town. For the most part, everyone I knew looked like me. Their families looked like mine. We usually practiced the same religion and even when we didn’t, we knew the language. Even so, I was different. I was the weird kid, quirky, and the other kids bullied me … [Read more...]
Why I’m Wary of Being Friends With You When None of Your Friends Are Marginalized
One day I was grappling with shame and self-consciousness over my tendency to take stock of the kinds of people new people in my life surround themselves with. I was thinking about this in relation to bodies and, specifically, race and fatness. Until that moment I had internalized this behavior as unnecessary, judgmental, and even shallow. But I had a realization that allowed … [Read more...]
Why White North Americans Need to Understand Ourselves as “Settlers”
If you’re white, this land was not made for you and me. Like many white North Americans, I grew up with a vague idea of where my ancestors came from. In my case, they were scattered across Western Europe, and I was fascinated by what their lives must have been like. But I had no real connection to what it means, culturally, to be Irish or Scottish or British or German or … [Read more...]
7 Ways “Honoring” Other Cultures Is Really Cultural Appropriation
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com and is republished with permission. If someone was trying to help you, but they were unintentionally doing more harm than good, you’d want to tell them, right? And you’d hope they’d be open to your feedback – after all, you’re not saying they’re a bad person or accusing them of deliberate sabotage. If they really … [Read more...]
How I Confronted My Internalized Anti-Blackness as a Queer Black Man
Desire, oooh like fire... come on, baby, light my fire I used to lip sync for my life with these lyrics when I was a boy. I had no idea what En Vogue was referring to when they sang “Desire,” but that never stopped me from getting into the song. You could say En Vogue was my introduction to the concept of desire. I felt desire for the first time years later as a teenager. My … [Read more...]
3 Pieces of Advice for Folks Considering Themselves Allies in Social Justice Movements
I have seen a lot of conversations about what the term “ally” means for social justice and radical movements. Is “ally” an identity? What role should allies play in larger discussions of oppression and resistance? Should allies have access to spaces created specifically for those who experience oppression? The goal of many of these discussions is to determine what an ally … [Read more...]
5 Myths That Uphold Mental Health Stigma in Latinx Communities
It was after three years of struggling with my mental health when I came to terms with needing to see a therapist. I was coping with regular anxiety attacks, situational depression, and untreated trauma. My reluctance to seek out professional help was due to a number of reasons that could be narrowed down to one thing: the stigma that comes with admitting to mental … [Read more...]
4 Reasons Centering Whiteness Can Derail Racial Justice Conversations — And How to Do Better
This article was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com under the title "Conversations on Racial Injustice & Whiteness: 4 Ways Not to Police People of Color & Be a Better Ally" and is republished with permission. To be completely honest, talking about race and racial injustice makes me very uncomfortable. Whenever someone brings up topics like police brutality, … [Read more...]
Listen To Our Foremothers: Why Black Women Deserve to Balance Our Rage With Our Joy
It is a sad time for Black women in this country. I would love to say that this time is unique and unlike that which our foremothers faced after being stolen and brought to this country, holding onto their souls and the shreds of their dignity they were determined never to give up. But we know this is not true. Today, as we carry our rage and sadness, feeling an … [Read more...]
The Body Is Not an Apology
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