Not long ago, I sat with a sweet little old man who was dying. (This is a regular occurrence for me; I’m a rabbi who works in hospice.) The man’s one dying wish was simple: to speak to his teenage granddaughter on the phone in Australia before he died. His selfish daughter was too “bitter” about the past to allow this to happen, he said. His request seemed so reasonable, his … [Read more...]
Not Easy, Still Worth It: 4 Strategies for White People to Address a Racist Relative’s Racism
A great distance separates me from my family. Not just geographical -- they live in Maine and I live in Georgia -- but also the distance of identity. I am a leftist agnostic who practices a vague form of religious expression that encompasses paganism and Catholicism. They are right-wingers with a strong belief in evangelical Christianity. Conversations at the Thanksgiving … [Read more...]
5 Myths That Uphold Mental Health Stigma in Latinx Communities
It was after three years of struggling with my mental health when I came to terms with needing to see a therapist. I was coping with regular anxiety attacks, situational depression, and untreated trauma. My reluctance to seek out professional help was due to a number of reasons that could be narrowed down to one thing: the stigma that comes with admitting to mental … [Read more...]
I’m a Married Christian Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children — And That’s Okay
As a Christian woman who has no desire to procreate, I’ve often felt like an anomaly or a mutant. In the various church communities I’ve called home at one time or another, I haven’t been aware of a significant number of Christian women like me: women who are happily married, without children, and who remain childless intentionally and unapologetically. For a long time, I was … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Honor 9/11 Without Being Islamophobic
The anniversary of the September 11th attacks is always a precarious time. Because this tragedy is wrapped up in nationalist sentiments, the memorializing of our national grief easily gets caught up in anti-Islamic sentiments. Grief and pain and nationalism all seem to get conflated and simplified during this time. This anniversary is often a time of heightened vigilance for … [Read more...]
Not Everyone’s “Born This Way”: How I Grew Into My Middle-Aged Trans Identity
Two years ago, I came out as queer, kinky, polyamorous, and transgender, all in the space of a few months. I’m not young; I'm approaching the age bracket known as “middle age.” In fact, I worried initially that my coming out explosion was some sort of midlife crisis brought on by reading too many queer comics and following too many trans Twitter accounts. Part of me shies away … [Read more...]
5 Things I Did After Turning 40 That Changed How I Saw My Aging Self
At thirty-eight I experienced a bit of a midlife crisis. Well, hardly midlife, but still a crisis nonetheless. Forty loomed on the horizon, and I felt a kind of aimless terror at that number. Some of it was kind of silly. What did a mature woman wear? Would I be forced by some secret fashion police to give up my band and anime t-shirts? Would I have to turn in my Chucks and … [Read more...]
4 Signs You’re Culturally Appropriating Buddhism
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com under the title "4 Signs You're Culturally Appropriating Buddhism -- And Why It's Important Not To" and is republished with permission. Imagine this: You’re a practicing Christian. You believe in God and Jesus, and you go to church every Sunday. You pray before bed. You even help at church fundraisers. As you walk … [Read more...]
How I Survived a Spanking Household
Content note: This article contains descriptions of domestic violence and traumatic assault. When my ex-spouse and I were dating, we had the the usual getting-to-know-each-other talks — with a deeper dimension, since we had known each other as kids and had reconnected as adults. As we delved deeply into our personal histories, each providing individual perspectives on our … [Read more...]
5 Ways Mexican Queerness Is a Radical Act Against Colonialism and Machismo
I am a queer non-binary person. The labels I use to describe this queerness are always changing and hardly ever stay static, but I am undoubtedly queer. I also come from a Mexican household. Both of my parents were born in the state of Jalisco and migrated to the United States when they were a young newlywed couple. I exist in the intersection of these identities as a queer … [Read more...]
Religious Freedom: Are You Actually Propagating Prejudice With Your “Beliefs”?
I am a Christian. Simply put, I believe in God, Jesus, and the veracity of the Bible. I also love science. I do not think those two things are mutually exclusive. You may disagree. That’s fine with me. I am deeply troubled by what certain Christians are saying. I hereby declare that they don’t communicate for me. I do not presume to speak for anyone other than myself, but I … [Read more...]
Resisting Fear: What Being Jewish Means in an Age of Rising Anti-Semitism
When I was growing up, being Jewish meant to me that we ate challah on Friday nights, put on a Purim play once a year (in which I always got to play Queen Esther), and lit Hanukkah candles while the Christmas tree gleamed in the other room. I loved learning about Jewish history, reading the stories, and celebrating the holidays with all their delicious food. Synagogue was a … [Read more...]
Sharing Our Whole Selves in Community: 3 Self-Love Practices I’m Embracing This Ramadan as a Queer Black American Muslim
Ramadan began two weeks ago, and across the world, Muslims who are observing the month abstain from food and drink from sunrise to sunset for thirty days. For those of us who fast, readiness is a layered concept. For some of us, it’s the physical component that is difficult to prepare ourselves for. Denying yourself food and drink during the daytime hours is difficult. It’s … [Read more...]
Leaving Christianity and Seeking the Goddess: How Reshaping Religion Transformed My Self-Love
When I was about seven, I remember going to a revival service with my grandmother. The preacher at one point launched into a sermon on women and makeup. He said, “Makeup isn’t bad, but remember, ladies: you paint the barn, not decorate it.” Those words haunted me throughout much of my life. Even now I can remember them and the way everyone laughed. But it underlined the … [Read more...]
