Mi hermano es trabajador de la industria de servicios. Trabaja en un restaurante de comida rápida y hace todo tipo de tareas, desde recibir pedidos de clientes testarudos que piden cosas que no están en el menú hasta limpiar los enchastres que la gente deja en sus mesas al retirarse, limpiar baños y sacar la basura con un enjambre de moscas zumbándole en la cara. Todo por diez … [Read more...]
“Buen chico”: Identificando una “nueva” masculinidad
La imagen social de que los chicos buenos acaban últimos o los chicos buenos nunca se llevan a la chica ha existido durante décadas, sobre todo en las películas de los ochenta. En esas películas, el “chico bueno” es a menudo tímido y/o empollón y/o gordito (blanco) quien promete tratar a la chica de la que va detrás mejor que el “idiota” con el que actualmente sale —con poca o … [Read more...]
Fantasy or Disrespect?: 7 Halloween Costume Pitfalls to Avoid
Halloween is eagerly anticipated by many. It's an opportunity to eat candy, dress up, and revel in nerdy pastimes or scary movies. Yet all too often, enjoying Halloween is a privilege experienced by people who don't have their identity infringed on by well-meaning, ignorant, or outright hateful celebrants. This is not only a problem with individuals, but with industry; with … [Read more...]
3 Ways Autistic Adults Experience Domestic Abuse — And 3 Ways To Stop It
This article was originally published on The Establishment under the title "We Need To Talk About the Domestic Abuse of Autistic Adults" and is republished with permission. Content Warning: This article references sexual abuse. It didn’t take long for me to identify a sweeping problem that no one is talking about. After much confusion, anguish, flashbacks, self-blame, and … [Read more...]
Waiting Tables Ain’t Easy: Why Service Workers’ Treatment Is Unacceptable
“Hi, how’s it going?” “I want the soup. Wait, what is polenta?” “Well -- ” “Is that that corn based thing?” “So, it’s -- ” “No I don’t think I’d like that. Give me the soup.” This is the conversation I have been having for eight years. Eight years of people speaking at me as if I don’t exist except to service their needs. On days when it is particularly bad, I joke with … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Check Your Privilege With Fast Food and Other Service Workers
My brother is a service industry worker. He works at a hamburger restaurant doing all sorts of tasks, from taking orders from testy customers who want to order items that don’t exist on the menu, to cleaning up the messes people leave behind on their tables, to cleaning bathrooms and taking out garbage as swarms of flies buzz around his face. All for ten dollars an hour. Many … [Read more...]
How To Unwrap Yourself From a Toxic Relationship When the Person Is Gone — But Not the Pain
It has been almost two years since I ended my last long-term relationship. It seems so strange that we have now been apart longer than we were together. When it began, I thought I had finally found my person. I soon experienced anxiety and doubt after many red flags started to surface. I had longed to love and share my life with someone and I settled for a toxic relationship … [Read more...]
7 Things Not To Say to a Child Wrestling With Their Sexuality
As a young person, I didn’t have any queer adult mentors to teach me about the positivity of exploring my sexual orientation, not to mention my gender identity. Most of what I learned about being LGBTIQ came from '90s mainstream media and my Gay Straight Alliance in high school. After high school, a couple of my friends eventually came out as gay. I listened and learned from … [Read more...]
Why Policing Disabled Folks’ Self-Diagnosis Is Classist
I get into arguments with people on the Internet a lot these days. It’s kind of one of the only ways to be a disability activist when there are a lot of days where you can’t leave your bed. The most recent argument I had was with a particular kind of ableist disabled person, which, oxymoronic as it sounds, is a thing that actually exists. In fact, I’ve encountered way too … [Read more...]
6 señales de advertencia de que tu amistad es abusiva
Las dinámicas toxicas no están reservadas solo para relaciones afectivas o sexuales. Cualquier relación que tengas con otra persona puede ser saludable: una fuente de positividad y empoderamiento mutuo. Cualquier relación con otra persona también puede por lo tanto ser no saludable: abuso emocional. Puede ser difícil reconocer el abuso emocional cuando viene de amigos en lugar … [Read more...]
7 Pieces of Advice for Dating While You Are Non-Binary
Let's be real: the vast majority of dating advice is aggressively cisheteronormative. From popular magazines and dating advice books to talk shows and Bachelor Nation, we have a plethora of suggestions on how cishet, white, able-bodied, upper-middle-class folks can date each other within cishet, patriarchal structures. Fighting over the bill only to "let" the man pay, dressing … [Read more...]
6 Ways To Talk About STIs (Without Being a Jerk)
Whenever the topic of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) comes up, I secretly get excited and panicked at the same time. I get excited because, as a person with herpes, and specifically as a writer with herpes, I spend a lot of time considering the complexities of what it means to live in a shared body with a virus, particularly one on which society has imposed a code of … [Read more...]
Stop Misgendering Non-Binary People
[Image description: A picture of the author wearing a black knit winter hat that has the word “they” across it in white capital letters with a row of pink hearts above and below the word. The hat has a white pom-pom at the top. West is a white non-binary person with very short brown hair just peeking out of the hat. They are wearing a blue plaid flannel buttoned all the way to … [Read more...]
