Content note: This article discusses eating disorders (including bulimia and anorexia), weight loss, and "thinspiration". It began with a love of tattoos: the permanence of art on an impermanent body, the buzz of the machine, the stinging and the bleeding and the healing. And by “it,” I mean how I taught myself to call my eating disorder “inspiration” -- and thus … [Read more...]
14 Truths I Learned for Surviving My Suicidality
Content note: This article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in-depth. On August 5th of last year, I tried to kill myself. The police were called. I was restrained, patted down, taken to the hospital, and held on a 5150. I was there for two days before they left me go. The term “5150” is the California legal code for “involuntary psychiatric hold.” It is used by law … [Read more...]
4 Tools I Use To Replace Self-Harm with Radical Self-Love
Content note: This article contains in-depth descriptions of self-harm and discussions of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The first time I saw the film American Beauty, one scene stood out to me. Annette Bening stood in the living room of a home she was trying to sell. She assertively closed the vertical blinds, turned around, and started to cry. She then slapped her … [Read more...]
7 Ways I Take Care of Myself During Depressive Episodes
I have been living with Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for about 14 years now. Along the way, I've learned that the taboo around talking about mental illness needs to end. It does not further growth, healing, or self-love, so let’s just go ahead and throw it out the window. I've found a few tricks to ease the blow of my depressive episodes and dark mood … [Read more...]
Black Girls Cut Too: Self-Harm and Intergenerational Trauma
Content note: detailed references to self-harm methods I started burning myself at 15. A friend and I burned ourselves in an attempt to engrave a symbol on our arms. After going to the local mall and buying a book on witchcraft, we decided we needed a symbol of our commitment to our new two-person coven. We drew up a draft of our symbol containing our initials (S & T) and … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Help Someone in a Mental Health Emergency Without Calling the Police
With the continued crisis of police violence against Black people, including the murder of people in mental and/or physical health crisis, it's more clear than ever that we need to be extremely thoughtful about calling the police. In fact, we should do everything we can to keep the police from being called. When someone is having a mental health emergency, the people around … [Read more...]
How I Learned My Abusive Father Is Not a Monster — Just a Rather Sad and Complicated Person
I've always been comically atrocious at mini-golf, and at other sports that require finesse in hand-eye coordination and the action of aiming a ball into a hole, hoop, or goal. Captain J's Mini-Golf Course is a particularly malicious 18-hole booby trap perched on the tip of Lake Superior, and is where I have some of the best memories of my father. Us laughing as I sink my fifth … [Read more...]
