How I Convinced Myself I Didn’t Have an Eating Disorder — And Returned to Myself Through Fierce Black Self-Love November 8, 2019 by Taylor Steele Leave a Comment Content note: This article discusses eating disorders (including bulimia and anorexia), weight loss, and "thinspiration". It began with a love of tattoos: the permanence of art on an impermanent body, the buzz of the machine, the stinging and the bleeding and the healing. And by “it,” I mean how I taught myself to call my eating disorder “inspiration” -- and thus … [Read more...]
14 Truths I Learned for Surviving My Suicidality October 18, 2019 by Mihran Nersesyan Leave a Comment Content note: This article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in-depth. On August 5th of last year, I tried to kill myself. The police were called. I was restrained, patted down, taken to the hospital, and held on a 5150. I was there for two days before they left me go. The term “5150” is the California legal code for “involuntary psychiatric hold.” It is used by law … [Read more...]
4 Tools I Use To Replace Self-Harm with Radical Self-Love October 6, 2019 by Toni Bell Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains in-depth descriptions of self-harm and discussions of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The first time I saw the film American Beauty, one scene stood out to me. Annette Bening stood in the living room of a home she was trying to sell. She assertively closed the vertical blinds, turned around, and started to cry. She then slapped her … [Read more...]
7 Ways I Take Care of Myself During Depressive Episodes July 23, 2019 by Taylor Steele 1 Comment I have been living with Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for about 14 years now. Along the way, I've learned that the taboo around talking about mental illness needs to end. It does not further growth, healing, or self-love, so let’s just go ahead and throw it out the window. I've found a few tricks to ease the blow of my depressive episodes and dark mood … [Read more...]
Black Girls Cut Too: Self-Harm and Intergenerational Trauma July 5, 2019 by Stacey Stevenson, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Content note: detailed references to self-harm methods I started burning myself at 15. A friend and I burned ourselves in an attempt to engrave a symbol on our arms. After going to the local mall and buying a book on witchcraft, we decided we needed a symbol of our commitment to our new two-person coven. We drew up a draft of our symbol containing our initials (S & T) and … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Help Someone in a Mental Health Emergency Without Calling the Police June 12, 2019 by Katie Tastrom 1 Comment With the continued crisis of police violence against Black people, including the murder of people in mental and/or physical health crisis, it's more clear than ever that we need to be extremely thoughtful about calling the police. In fact, we should do everything we can to keep the police from being called. When someone is having a mental health emergency, the people around … [Read more...]
How I Learned My Abusive Father Is Not a Monster — Just a Rather Sad and Complicated Person August 11, 2018 by Halee Kirkwood Leave a Comment I've always been comically atrocious at mini-golf, and at other sports that require finesse in hand-eye coordination and the action of aiming a ball into a hole, hoop, or goal. Captain J's Mini-Golf Course is a particularly malicious 18-hole booby trap perched on the tip of Lake Superior, and is where I have some of the best memories of my father. Us laughing as I sink my fifth … [Read more...]
Every Time I Judge Myself I Reveal And Unhealed Part of Myself: 7 Things I Shamed Myself About (And Maybe You Do Too) October 1, 2017 by Taylor Steele Leave a Comment It didn’t take too many visits to my therapist to learn that my biggest psychological hurdles were my narrow-minded perspectives on who I was supposed to be, where I was supposed to be in life, and what the people in my life thought or expected of me. I was carrying the weight of a million “what-ifs” with me everyday, everywhere I went, and into every relationship. I constantly … [Read more...]
More Than My Scars: Radical Self-love and the Self-injured Body October 28, 2016 by E Alice Isak 1 Comment I have never forgotten the first time I cut into my own flesh deliberately: the motes of dust in the air lit by a late afternoon sunbeam; the threadbare sofa in my dorm room where I sat; the blue-handled scissors that I held open for what seemed an eternity; the expanse of pale, clear skin on the inside of my forearm before I brought the scissors down against it. My skin has … [Read more...]