During a crowded bus journey, my daughter's shrill four-year-old voice piped up clearly and succinctly above the hum of the ongoing conversation: "I want to have sex with [insert classmate here]." A silence, not unlike the one pervading the moment before the conductor raises his baton, fell in anticipation of my reply. And on behalf of all the sex-positive parents, I swallowed … [Read more...]
6 Ways To Support a Friend After a Sexual Assault
From the stories unearthed by the #MeToo movement started by Tarana Burke, to #TimesUp, to sexual harassment and assault scandals surrounding such high-profile figures as Brett Kavanaugh, Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein, it’s important to consider the effects these highly publicized incidents may have on those of us who have experienced sexual assault, abuse, or harassment in … [Read more...]
Mixed-Race, Non-Binary, Queer Fat Femme: How I Fail and Succeed in Finding Liberation
I am a Black, mixed-race, fat, queer, non-binary person. Most saliently, I am femme. I have come to understand radical femmeness, femme magic, femme community, femme love, and femme power through my relationships with other womxn and femmes of color. While femme communities evoke safeness and security for me, they also often exist on the basis of trauma. Femininity leaves us … [Read more...]
Summer Is Not for Street Harassment — Regardless of Gender, Race, or Size
Ah, summer. Enduring six months of a freezing New England hellscape in order to re-enter the world of soft, swirling sand dunes and jeweled salty ocean waves. The perfume of sunscreen. Living in the city, battling the humidity as I take my dog to the park. Existing as a curvy, white, queer femme, cisgender woman. Feeling men’s eyes travel over my ass and my boobs as I walk down … [Read more...]
3 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me My Consent Didn’t Matter
I’m writing this piece anonymously because my mother frequently Googles me – types my name into a search bar to find all I’ve been up to splashed across her screen. I think she does this just so she can send my articles to her coworkers to show them how proud of me she is. I’m writing this anonymously because sometimes, in an article, I’ll reference something she said to me, … [Read more...]
What Went Wrong With Men That 12 Million Women Said #MeToo?
This article originally appeared in yes! magazine and is reprinted by permission from the writer. The massive outpouring of women saying #MeToo is both heartbreaking in its scope and encouraging in the bravery and solidarity it shows—12 million uses of #MeToo on social media in the first 24 hours, according to various reports. Commentators are rightly saying we need to … [Read more...]
The Gender Nonconformity of My Fatness
Last month I was in a public space, meaning, I was in a space that left my body vulnerable to the interpretations of those around me and their responses. Two strangers met nearby, and one asked the other a question that necessitated acknowledging me. Stranger #2 responded to Stranger #1's question, referring to me as "she" (“She's waiting in line”). I noted this internally, … [Read more...]
