Content note: This article contains discussions of rape and physical, childhood, and sexual abuse. In 2016, on a radical feminist Facebook page for survivors of abuse, someone posted the question, “Do you identity as a victim or survivor?” As the thread progressed over the following weeks, people provided very heartfelt and nuanced responses. The discussion came up at a time … [Read more...]
Why I’m Wary of Being Friends With You When None of Your Friends Are Marginalized
One day I was grappling with shame and self-consciousness over my tendency to take stock of the kinds of people new people in my life surround themselves with. I was thinking about this in relation to bodies and, specifically, race and fatness. Until that moment I had internalized this behavior as unnecessary, judgmental, and even shallow. But I had a realization that allowed … [Read more...]
Reclaiming My Eroticism After Sexual Assault
Content note: This article discusses sexual violence at length. After my rape, I thought of my body as a series of open wounds and wounded openings sutured together. I had to learn how to rewrite the poems, the stories, the words I wrapped around my flesh. After certain types of trauma, sometimes the only way we can see our bodies is as spaces for harm, spaces for … [Read more...]
5 Examples of Trump’s Gaslighting That Exemplify My Emotionally Abusive Ex
Editor's Note: This article was originally published February 17, 2017 on EverydayFeminism under the title "5 Gaslighting Phrases Donald Trump Used That Remind Me a Lot of My Abusive Ex." It is republished here with permission. In light of the current impeachment proceedings, we found the piece important to repost as a helpful set of tools for understanding how gaslighting … [Read more...]
Not Your “Geisha Doll”: Why We Need To Stop Skirting Around Racist Sexual Violence
Content note: This article discusses acts of sexual violence. The fact that sexual violence is often experienced alongside racism for many people of color is almost always glossed over in discussions about sexual assault and rape. When it's mentioned at all, it's mentioned quickly, and everyone nods their head in agreement. During these conversations, most white people … [Read more...]
6 Ways To Support a Friend After a Sexual Assault
From the stories unearthed by the #MeToo movement started by Tarana Burke, to #TimesUp, to sexual harassment and assault scandals surrounding such high-profile figures as Brett Kavanaugh, Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein, it’s important to consider the effects these highly publicized incidents may have on those of us who have experienced sexual assault, abuse, or harassment in … [Read more...]
Stop Hurting Women: We Belong to Ourselves Despite Violent Male Entitlement
[Content note: descriptions of violence, gendered violence, rape, physical assault, sexual assault, death] Mary “Unique” Spears, a mother of three, was shot on the streets for rejecting a man’s advances. April Sams was thrown over a six-story parking structure by a male co-worker whose unwanted advances she had refused. Maren Sanchez was stabbed in her high school hallway … [Read more...]
Intergenerational Trauma: Indigenous Resilience in the Face of Abuse
This article was originally published on Residential School Magazine under its original title "Let Me Tell You About Inter-Generational Trauma" and is republished with permission. **Content note: this article contains discussions of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and violence as well as suicide.** My grandmother was placed in residential school at the age of 6. For … [Read more...]
“You Are Not Alone”: Uncovering the Dark Secret of Black Women and Sexual Abuse
Rape was not explained to me. No one sat me down and told me what it was. When I was a young girl, I heard a news story about a rape in Central Park—the park my school took us to for physical education and recess, so I paid attention. The victim’s face was slashed during the attack—cut with a broken bottle, I think. So for the longest time, I used to think that being raped … [Read more...]
Listening to Mother Earth’s Voice: An Indigenous Female Perspective on Sexual and Ecological Violence
Editor's Note: This article was originally published by Princess Daazhraii Johnson under the title "What's Missing From #MeToo and #TimesUp: One Indigenous Woman's Perspective" and is republished with permission. As I have watched the national dialogue unfold around sexual harassment and sexual violence, I can’t help but take notice of the lack of tie in to a much larger … [Read more...]
Brett Kavanaugh and #MeToo: What Happened to You Matters
Content warning: discussion of sexual violence and rape culture When I was eight years old, a neighborhood boy who was about 16 was over at my house watching the 1968 version of Romeo & Juliet with me on the VCR in my living room. Apparently my dad let us watch it, something my mom would later excoriate him for, coming from a place of bitter knowledge that women, … [Read more...]
