How I Realized I’m Demisexual in a Sexual World July 13, 2019 by Cara Liebowitz 5 Comments I’m demisexual. What does that mean? While asexual means that someone doesn’t feel sexual attraction at all, being demisexual means that I do not feel sexual attraction to a person unless there is a strong emotional connection. The inevitable response to this statement is generally, “But I don't think that anyone has sex unless they’re emotionally connected to the other … [Read more...]
My Struggle To Love With the Lights on After a Lifetime of Fatphobic Abuse July 9, 2019 by Anonymous 1 Comment The first time I know that I am fat and that is bad is when I am ten. That is the year I become a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. My mom says I asked to go on a diet. I don’t remember what precipitated this request, but I am sure she’s right. I weigh 135 pounds at the first weigh in. When I find that first weigh in card ten years and 150 pounds later, I cry. I was my adult … [Read more...]
Why I Refuse To Believe Being Femme Invalidates My Queerness June 29, 2019 by Tiffany Lee Leave a Comment My femme identity is rooted in conjuring up as much softness and pleasure as I can. This world can be incredibly hard and harmful, especially for marginalized folx. Femme-embodiment is my magic of choice to help me navigate through it all. As magic as it is, my gender expression also prompts people to approach me with the “… but you look straight” comment upon "discovering" … [Read more...]
5 Ways Mexican Queerness Is a Radical Act Against Colonialism and Machismo June 22, 2019 by Erika_Ruiz Leave a Comment I am a queer non-binary person. The labels I use to describe this queerness are always changing and hardly ever stay static, but I am undoubtedly queer. I also come from a Mexican household. Both of my parents were born in the state of Jalisco and migrated to the United States when they were a young newlywed couple. I exist in the intersection of these identities as a queer … [Read more...]
Why I Refuse To Leave the South as a Queer Black Person June 19, 2019 by Quita Tinsley 1 Comment I was born and raised in the Southeast -- rural Georgia, to be precise. I like my teas to be sweet, biscuits with cane syrup, hearts to be blessed, and summers that are hot. Not a day goes by that I don’t say "y’all." I spent many days as a child walking around barefoot in the grass. It’s a regular practice for me to smile at strangers and ask them “how you doing?” All of these … [Read more...]
You’re Worth Loving: My Letter for Those Still in the Closet June 1, 2019 by Caroline Catlin, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Dear you, This letter is for you. Your In The Closet But Still Worth Loving quiet, powerful, gentle celebration. Let me tell you a story. In middle school, I was the opposite of cool. I wore colorful striped leggings. My hair was always frizzy and in a ponytail with one strand hanging down, because I thought that was neat. There was a gap between my front teeth. I didn’t hate … [Read more...]
How It Impacts Me as a Queer Woman When Friends Call Each Other “Girl Friends” May 23, 2019 by Sabrina Rivera Leave a Comment As I continue to settle into a queer identity, certain words and their meanings seem to do the exact opposite of settling in. They don't sit still. Words I've never been comfortable using have become part of my regular vocabulary, and words that have never really affected me before suddenly have an unpleasant edge. Like other people, my relationship with words is very much a … [Read more...]
Communication, Humor, and Experimentation: 10 Tips for Disabled Sex May 17, 2019 by Taylor Carmen Leave a Comment I was a pretty typical teenager when it came to sex. I wanted it and wanted to know more about it. When the classes I took in school failed to tell me how sex happens for folks with disabilities, I turned to the resource kids in the '90s turned to for everything: Google. The results were terrifying. Most sites told me that good sex probably wasn’t possible and others were … [Read more...]
Asian and Asexual: How I Came To Own My Asexuality While Fighting Cultural Stereotypes May 2, 2019 by Dawy Rkasnuam Leave a Comment As an Asian American woman who exists on the asexual spectrum, I navigate a tricky space when it comes to sexuality. On one hand, I experience hypersexualization and fetishization based on Orientalist assumptions about Asian women. On the other, I come from a culture of sexual conservatism, where families don’t speak about sex but the expectation of abstinence is always … [Read more...]
Why We Need To Stop Shaming Teen Parents April 30, 2019 by Awilda González Leave a Comment In recent years, teen pregnancy in the US has been at an all -time low. From 2012 to 2013, teen birth rates decreased among 15–19 year olds by 9% for non-Hispanic whites and 11% for non-Hispanic blacks. If there are fewer teenage pregnancies, why is it that so many people still make it such a shameful thing to be pregnant as a teenager? I’ve heard people say that teenagers back … [Read more...]
Por favor, no sexualices a mi hija: Aprendiendo el equilibrio entre libertad y ser “buenos” padres April 28, 2019 by Ana Maroto and Ginger Stickney Leave a Comment Cuando mi hija, P, empezó a ir a una pequeña “unschool” (*no existe este término en español, adjunto link para saber más de este movimiento), no solo descubrió una educación alegre, sino también la alegría de un pelo pintado. Los unschoolers creen que los niños aprenden mejor cuando escogen lo que aprenden y cómo aprenden dichas lecciones. No fue una sorpresa encontrar niños a … [Read more...]
Let’s Stop Acting as if Queers Need To Look a Certain Way To Be Queer April 27, 2019 by Shannon Weber 1 Comment In my city, there’s a monthly queer-women-and-company dance event called Flannel Takeover. It’s supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the visuals of being a queer woman: someone who wears lots of flannel. Line up, ladies and trans gents and non-binary folks! Grab a beer, don your snapback, aaand let’s perpetuate the lazy stereotype that queer woman equals masculine. A … [Read more...]
Becoming My Own Best Friend: Finding Self-Love and Healing Through Celibacy April 16, 2019 by Taylor Steele Leave a Comment The first time I decided to stop having sex was the summer of 2013. I was 22 and had just begun working through recent body-related traumas with my new therapist. I knew I had been engaging in reckless sexual behavior for over a year, and this was the first time I had really called myself out on it. I had let myself believe I was simply engaging in sex positivity, bodily … [Read more...]
How White LGBT Spaces Erase Queer People of Colour April 5, 2019 by Mari Ramsawakh Leave a Comment This article has been republished from Xtra, and is reprinted here by permission. For as long as I could remember, I had always known I was queer in some way. In the way that my feelings for girls and women around me seemed to be more intense than they were supposed to, or the way that I would feel very strange if I happened to see a sexy scene of a woman in a … [Read more...]
Am I Queer Enough To Claim Queerness? February 4, 2019 by Taylor Steele 2 Comments If I remember correctly, I was eight. I walked into the kitchen looking for a fork, and thought to myself, “hmm I am attracted to a girl in my class, so I guess that makes me bisexual. Hmmm,” grabbed my fork and went back to my room. I don’t remember learning the word, but I knew what it meant and how to use it. That is the earliest memory I have of me understanding what my … [Read more...]
Cuidarse a uno mismo y el trabajo social February 3, 2019 by Quita Tinsley Leave a Comment Si le preguntases a mi madre o a mi novia cuándo hice algo equivocado, te dirán algo como, “Bueno, conociendo a Quita, ella nunca hace nada equivocado”. Pero incluso la Princesa de la Perfección tiene que admitir cuándo se equivoca. Mi viaje de cuidarme a mi misma está en un proceso en el que estoy haciendo más cosas mal de las que no. Como alguien que se ocupa en el trabajo … [Read more...]
