It’s hard for me to write the story about being in an abusive relationship. Not because it’s hard for me to talk about it, though sometimes it is. Not because I’m still carrying shame and self-doubt or because I might trigger my own trauma responses, though I am and I might. It’s because writing about being a male survivor of intimate partner abuse, especially when your abuser … [Read more...]
Yeah, I’m a Victim: Reclaiming My Truth and Healing After Rape
Content note: This article contains discussions of rape and physical, childhood, and sexual abuse. In 2016, on a radical feminist Facebook page for survivors of abuse, someone posted the question, “Do you identity as a victim or survivor?” As the thread progressed over the following weeks, people provided very heartfelt and nuanced responses. The discussion came up at a time … [Read more...]
You’re Not Responsible: How To Unlearn the Guilt Inflicted By Parental Abuse
Content note: This article discusses sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at length. Victims of childhood abuse, rape survivors, and victims of domestic abuse are really good at one thing: feeling guilty. We can feel guilty about everything, particularly things that aren’t our responsibility. Survivors are taught to feel responsible for the actions of perpetrators and, as a … [Read more...]
6 Ways To Support a Friend After a Sexual Assault
From the stories unearthed by the #MeToo movement started by Tarana Burke, to #TimesUp, to sexual harassment and assault scandals surrounding such high-profile figures as Brett Kavanaugh, Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein, it’s important to consider the effects these highly publicized incidents may have on those of us who have experienced sexual assault, abuse, or harassment in … [Read more...]
3 Reasons We Need To Be Critical of Compulsory Sex Positivity in Queer Spaces
Sex positivity often acts as an implicit — or sometimes explicit — foundation of leftist, feminist, and LGBTQ+ spaces for completely valid reasons. As women and queers, sex has been the driving force behind both our oppression and the spaces we create to separate, heal, and liberate us from our oppression. Sexualized spaces for socializing predate our modern understanding of … [Read more...]
“We Stand With Cosby”: Rape Culture and Victim-Blaming Among America’s Heroes
It's an easy thing to say: just tell the truth. Tell it immediately, without bias, lacking emotionality, to everyone. Easy, right? Even in our daily interactions, we do not always tell the truth. Often in fear of hurting others, being hurt, getting fired, being told your truth was never worth sharing. However, when it comes to people in the public eye, it has become all too … [Read more...]
10 Tips for Visiting the Gynecologist as a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse
I am 25 years old and until one week ago, I had never been to the gynecologist. I had actively avoided going for 13 years. Just the idea of making an appointment was enough to bring me to tears and panic. I overcame a lot last Thursday. I genuinely thought I wasn’t going to make it at some points. Despite that, I am here, and I went to the gynecologist. I can barely … [Read more...]

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