Our society doesn't talk enough about suicidality. Somehow it's still considered taboo to do so even though suicidal ideation impacts so many of us. For that reason and so many more, it's important to talk about what you can do to help someone who may be suicidal. My perspective comes from my lived experience with suicidality (though thankfully it's been a very long time … [Read more...]
Content note: This article discusses sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at length. Victims of childhood abuse, rape survivors, and victims of domestic abuse are really good at one thing: feeling guilty. We can feel guilty about everything, particularly things that aren’t our responsibility. Survivors are taught to feel responsible for the actions of perpetrators and, as a … [Read more...]
Content note: This article contains references to incest, childhood sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Admitting you need therapy can be hard. Finding a therapist can be very tough. Finding a good culturally competent therapist can be downright daunting. I was first put into therapy when I was ten years old. My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, was able to … [Read more...]
I’ve learned a lot of things about anger in my life. Growing up, I learned to be there for other people when they were angry, helping soothe their unruly emotions, or at least bearing witness to them, packing away my own emotions until they felt like a choking, gnawing grief I couldn’t shake. (There wasn’t enough room for my grief, for my anxiety at being parentified… I … [Read more...]
The Dangers of the Therapeutic Relationship I had my first therapist at the age of 6 after my parents’ divorce. My mom says she did it as a kind of preventive measure. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t scarred. Yeah, we got to play with toys, but we had different agendas. My therapist wasn’t a playmate. She was the observer, and I was the observed. Like the male gaze, this is … [Read more...]
The Body Is Not an Apology
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