Note: I am writing this article from my perspective of the holiday season, which is very Christmas-centric. Having said that, I believe that at least some of these hints can be applied to other holiday celebrations. The holidays are promoted, to an almost obnoxious level, as being a time of great joy and merriment. Families come around, delicious food is eaten, presents are … [Read more...]
How To Unwrap Yourself From a Toxic Relationship When the Person Is Gone — But Not the Pain
It has been almost two years since I ended my last long-term relationship. It seems so strange that we have now been apart longer than we were together. When it began, I thought I had finally found my person. I soon experienced anxiety and doubt after many red flags started to surface. I had longed to love and share my life with someone and I settled for a toxic relationship … [Read more...]
6 señales de advertencia de que tu amistad es abusiva
Las dinámicas toxicas no están reservadas solo para relaciones afectivas o sexuales. Cualquier relación que tengas con otra persona puede ser saludable: una fuente de positividad y empoderamiento mutuo. Cualquier relación con otra persona también puede por lo tanto ser no saludable: abuso emocional. Puede ser difícil reconocer el abuso emocional cuando viene de amigos en lugar … [Read more...]
Excommunicate Me From the Cult of Toxic Social Justice
“confronting racism, sexism and all the underlying structural oppressions of our system is never easy, and taking a good, hard look at our own privilege is inevitably a painful process. but there’s a harshness in the air now that is more intense than i’ve seen in fifty years of involvement in social justice struggles.” --starhawk in building a welcoming movement “solidarity … [Read more...]
Desentramar las capas: Sobrevivir al abuso emocional infantil
Advertencia de contenido: Este artículo utiliza el termino incesto emocional, discute el abuso emocional infantil y las relaciones parentales nocivas. La primera vez que mi terapeuta mencionó el termino incesto emocional me agarró desprevenida. El termino en si genera una reacción de rechazo inmenso. Me anotó la información de un libro para que lo buscara cuando estuviese … [Read more...]
When Masculinity Fails Men
This article originally appeared in Paging Dr. Nerdlove and is reprinted by permission. It’s been an interesting week for talking about masculinity. To start with, ABC’s 20/20 aired a story about the Manosphere and the Men’s Rights Movement (which, ironically enough seems to have touched off a weird Jay-Z/Nas-esque feud between two leading voices of the MRM). The Daily … [Read more...]
It’s OK to Be Vulnerable, Men
This article was originally published on The Good Men Project and is republished with permission. “Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” “Be a man.” “Stop crying like a little bitch.” “Don’t be such a pussy.” Sound familiar? Yeah, it does to me too, unfortunately. One needs to do nothing more than watch the video of a young Amar Collins, posted by his father on … [Read more...]
Why I’m Grateful I Have a Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis
My mouth hovers a millimetre or so away from the surface. The bath water is warm and ripple free. The sound of my heartbeat echoes in my ears. If only the water level was slightly higher, I would inhale this vaguely rose-scented peace, return to the void and sink into blissful oblivion. My relaxed heart thuds more slowly and I observe it, contentedly, before pulling the plug … [Read more...]
3 Ways That The Foundation of Good Boundaries is Good Self-Care
1. Hold your own boundaries: Heal yourself, heal your communities What is self-care? It can mean spiritual connection to whatever is bigger than us—the moon, the ocean, a forest, a community, a friendship, a partnership, a movement, a creative project. It can mean loving oneself with the tenderness and care you would give to a newborn. And part of it is giving … [Read more...]

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