When I see someone teaching kids to hate their bodies, I’m mad. I’ve spent the bulk of my career as a therapist helping adults to let go of body shame, and I know that the roots of this dissatisfaction often starts during childhood. A recent study of 111 girls revealed that by age 5, 50% of these kids had internalized the thin ideal. Many of my clients have spent … [Read more...]
Undoing the Dozens: Fighting Back Against Body Shame
“The Dozens” is a game most Black folks probably remember playing when they were younger, though some of us may have referred to it by a different name. The rules are pretty simple and straightforward. Participants take turns insulting one another, usually surrounded by a crowd to egg them on, until one or the other gives up. Jokes can touch on, and usually do, how smart you … [Read more...]
“But They Were Nice…So Why Did I Hate Dance Class?” On Being Fat & Feeling Safe
Ever since I was in senior high school, I wanted to learn how to dance. I’d done a bit of dancing as a kid, but it was not until I was about eighteen that I got truly bitten by the dancing bug. And while many of the other things I was obsessed with back then have failed to keep my interest, my enthusiasm for dancing has never wavered. I think that, more than anything, … [Read more...]
When I Broke Up With My Diet
[Content Warning: Some swearing and weight-loss/diet talk.] Up until about four years ago, I was in a long-term relationship. It had lasted, on and off, for fifteen years, and whenever we were together, it was the most intense relationship I’ve ever had. But it was a bad relationship, based on false hopes and promises of a better life, while giving me nothing much but … [Read more...]
Wear What You Want: The Summer Edition
Where I’m from (Rochester, New York), it gets cold. And it snows. A lot. So naturally, on the first day it gets above 40, the locals get excited. We dust off our shorts and tank tops. We head to the mall and splurge on bikinis. When it gets warm, less clothes are worn. Makes logical sense, right? However, with summer comes the self-appointed body police – you know, the … [Read more...]
5 Ways People with Thin Privilege Can Fight Body Terrorism
Hey, fellow folks with thin privilege (you should know who you are): We need to talk. I’ve been seeing a lot of people equating skinny shaming and fat shaming—and I want to declare, on the record, that this is wrong and harmful. There is a huge difference between skinny shaming and fat shaming—and it’s a difference of scale and systemic power dynamics. Body shaming against … [Read more...]
Breaking My Childhood Body Shame: How I Learned to Love My Body Enough To Listen To It
“Your stomach looks like dough,” my brother told me. He was probably about six, which places me at about nine. We were out on the boat with family, like we often were in the summer. “My stomach,” he said, “is flat and tan, but yours is soft and white like dough.” And he laughed, meanly. I don’t hold this against my little brother. He was young, and he was parroting the kind … [Read more...]
Fatphobia101: Six Tools To Dismantle Weight Stigma
I, as a life-long fat person, have been the target of weight stigma and fatphobia ever since I can remember, only I had no idea that what I was experiencing was a form of prejudice. I figured I deserved it, since I was fat and all. Then, a few years ago, I was introduced to the world of fat activism and body acceptance. That was when I learned about weight stigma and fatphobia, … [Read more...]
More Than Just Broad Shoulders: On Being “Too Big”
Shopping for clothes always seems like such a chore. Beyond the issues of succumbing to capitalist patriarchal standards of what “looks good,” shopping can quickly become a session of self-loathing, especially when you are “too big” for what you want to wear. You find something that looks great on the rack, but when you put it on, the buttons are stretched out, or you cannot … [Read more...]
10 Answers to Common Questions People Ask When Being Called Out for Using Ableist Language
The Body Is Not an Apology’s goal is to share the myriad ways human bodies unshackle the box of “beauty” and fling it wide open for all of us to access. Our goal is to redefine the unapologetic, radically amazing magnificence of EVERY BODY on this planet. When we do, we change the world! Join the movement and become a subscriber today! bit.ly/NoBodiesInvisible. *** This … [Read more...]
When Healthy Isn’t An Option: How I Learned To Love My Chronically Ill Body
This article first appeared on Ravishly and is reprinted by permission. Simply put, my body struggles to produce enough energy to meet its needs, and the impact of these energy shortages can be felt in every system of my body. There is no treatment for mitochondrial disease. All that we can do is treat the symptoms and wait for science to catch up. Once upon a time, I … [Read more...]
Why is Fat a Feminist Issue?
OK, so. I have to make a confession. At first, I didn’t know that fat was a feminist issue. I really didn’t. When I started reading about fat activism and getting involved in it, I saw it as being its own thing: another kind of activism fighting against another form of inequality. I considered it to be related to feminism in the same way that most types of … [Read more...]
An Act of Knowing: Moving Towards a Black Femme Politic
When I was a child. What age, I can’t remember. But when I was a child tends to suffice for stories like this. When I was a child, I would play dress-up with my little sister. I’m the oldest of four. Theoretically, I should have been playing with my older, decidedly more butch cousin. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who you ask – I was always just a tad bit too … [Read more...]
11 Reasons Your ‘Concern’ for Fat People’s Health Isn’t Helping Anyone
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. “I’m just concerned about their health.” “I’m a feminist, but I don’t think fat is a feminist issue.” “I’m body-positive, but I don’t believe in glorifying obesity.” “I think people of size deserve respect, but I think they’d find it easier if they were thin.” “Studies have … [Read more...]
