2020 has been a difficult, heartbreaking, and tumultuous year in so many ways. The toll COVID is taking on our communities, especially the most disenfranchised among us (disproportionately poor and working-class people of color), remains heartbreakingly gut-wrenching. Governments across the globe have violated the rights of their people repeatedly, from the ongoing police … [Read more...]
Rejecting Fetishization and Lack: Claiming the Fullness of My Black Demisexuality
By Grace B. Freedom My name is Grace and I am a gray demisexual ace. Rewind: gray doesn’t really suit me. It doesn’t feel vibrant enough. I can be a gray demisexual as it pertains to generic understandings of asexuality, but I want to formally declare that I want a new color. Perhaps I will be a gold-flecked cyan demisexual with rich metallic hints and deep blues … [Read more...]
I Was a Racist Teacher and I Didn’t Even Know It
This article was originally published in Education Post and is republished with permission. I was a racist teacher and I didn’t recognize it. At the time that I taught, I would have argued that I was the opposite. I was a progressive, a Democrat. I campaigned in my progressive town in Western North Carolina for the first Black man to run for the U.S. Senate against a notorious … [Read more...]
Why I’m Wary of Being Friends With You When None of Your Friends Are Marginalized
One day I was grappling with shame and self-consciousness over my tendency to take stock of the kinds of people new people in my life surround themselves with. I was thinking about this in relation to bodies and, specifically, race and fatness. Until that moment I had internalized this behavior as unnecessary, judgmental, and even shallow. But I had a realization that allowed … [Read more...]
Why White North Americans Need To Understand Ourselves as “Settlers”
If you’re white, this land was not made for you and me. Like many white North Americans, I grew up with a vague idea of where my ancestors came from. In my case, they were scattered across Western Europe, and I was fascinated by what their lives must have been like. But I had no real connection to what it means, culturally, to be Irish or Scottish or British or German or … [Read more...]
7 Ways “Honoring” Other Cultures Is Really Cultural Appropriation
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com and is republished with permission. If someone was trying to help you, but they were unintentionally doing more harm than good, you’d want to tell them, right? And you’d hope they’d be open to your feedback – after all, you’re not saying they’re a bad person or accusing them of deliberate sabotage. If they really … [Read more...]
How I Confronted My Internalized Anti-Blackness as a Queer Black Man
Desire, oooh like fire... come on, baby, light my fire I used to lip sync for my life with these lyrics when I was a boy. I had no idea what En Vogue was referring to when they sang “Desire,” but that never stopped me from getting into the song. You could say En Vogue was my introduction to the concept of desire. I felt desire for the first time years later as a teenager. My … [Read more...]
Feminist Rage: 4 Ways White Feminists Continue To Silence Women of Color’s Anger at Racism
Women are angry, and rightfully so. I only have to write the words “Brett Kavanaugh” — a series of events so deeply disturbing in their unmasking of elite frat boy rape culture that I stopped my compulsive news watching for three weeks after — to convey how deeply US women are under attack by the Trump regime. As white women in particular are justifiably encouraging each other … [Read more...]
Notes From a Feminist Trans Guy on the Gendered Policing of Body Hair
“I mean, look at you, man. With that mustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that." So said a guy to me in my bro-far-masculine-of-center gender support group. He said it as a means of establishing camaraderie and admiration. I felt shame. “Girls don’t have hairy backs,” said my nine-year-old peer at the city pool. I was wearing a light blue, shiny … [Read more...]
Why I’m Done Being a “Good” Mentally Ill Person
This article first appeared on The Establishment and is reprinted by permission. Content note: This article contains discussion of psychiatric hospitalization and briefly mentions suicidal ideation. I’m being buckled into a stretcher. Restraints are being placed around my ankles when a nurse walks by. “You don’t really have to use all the restraints,” she says to the … [Read more...]
4 Reasons Centering Whiteness Can Derail Racial Justice Conversations — And How To Do Better
This article was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com under the title "Conversations on Racial Injustice & Whiteness: 4 Ways Not to Police People of Color & Be a Better Ally" and is republished with permission. To be completely honest, talking about race and racial injustice makes me very uncomfortable. Whenever someone brings up topics like police brutality, … [Read more...]
How I Came To Honor My “Too Black” Name as a Black, Queer, Fat Woman
As a Black, queer, fat woman, I’m constantly aware of how I navigate most spaces. I’m constantly determining whether I can talk about my girlfriend. I’m constantly wondering whether I can eat what and how I want. And I’m constantly aware of how I’m speaking, from my tone to the words that I’m saying. Sometimes, these concerns come from a place of determining my safety. One … [Read more...]
White People Interested in Dismantling White Supremacy: Who Are We Beyond Our Violence?
“One of the things that most afflicts this country is that white people don’t know who they are or where they come from.” -- James Baldwin In the fall of my senior year in high school, one of my classmates hosted a Halloween party. For some reason, I thought it would be funny to get some of my other friends to join me in dressing as Klansmen. No one balked at the idea. We … [Read more...]
10 Ways the Beauty Industry Tells You Being Beautiful Means Being White
Note: This article originally appeared on EverydayFeminism and is reprinted by permission. I have to cringe when I think about my early days of putting on makeup. First, my mom wouldn’t let me touch the stuff until high school -- which I can understand, knowing what I know now about how girls can be pressured to grow up too fast. But I was lagging behind other girls who … [Read more...]
