One day I was grappling with shame and self-consciousness over my tendency to take stock of the kinds of people new people in my life surround themselves with. I was thinking about this in relation to bodies and, specifically, race and fatness. Until that moment I had internalized this behavior as unnecessary, judgmental, and even shallow. But I had a realization that allowed … [Read more...]
25 Ridiculous Things I Shouldn’t Have to Do to Avoid Street Harassment
This article was originally published by EverydayFeminism and is republished here with permission. When it comes to the issue of street harassment, you can’t really grasp what the problem is unless you’ve had to deal with it. So for those of us who do know what being harassed is like, we often have to put up with not just the harassment, but also with dismissive attitudes … [Read more...]
Feminist Rage: 4 Ways White Feminists Continue to Silence Women of Color’s Anger at Racism
Women are angry, and rightfully so. I only have to write the words “Brett Kavanaugh” — a series of events so deeply disturbing in their unmasking of elite frat boy rape culture that I stopped my compulsive news watching for three weeks after — to convey how deeply US women are under attack by the Trump regime. As white women in particular are justifiably encouraging each other … [Read more...]
Notes from a Feminist Trans Guy on the Gendered Policing of Body Hair
“I mean, look at you, man. With that mustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that." So said a guy to me in my bro-far-masculine-of-center gender support group. He said it as a means of establishing camaraderie and admiration. I felt shame. “Girls don’t have hairy backs,” said my nine-year-old peer at the city pool. I was wearing a light blue, shiny … [Read more...]
I’m a Married Christian Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children — And That’s Okay
As a Christian woman who has no desire to procreate, I’ve often felt like an anomaly or a mutant. In the various church communities I’ve called home at one time or another, I haven’t been aware of a significant number of Christian women like me: women who are happily married, without children, and who remain childless intentionally and unapologetically. For a long time, I was … [Read more...]
Why I Stopped Wearing A Bra and Why It’s So Freeing
Like many people who wear bras, I hate them. The best part of every day is when I get home and can take off my bra. I abandoned lacy and pretty bras awhile ago, then underwire had to go, and now for the last few years I've been wearing cheap sports bras. But no more. I realized the only reason I still wore bras at all is because of being sexually objectified by men. So I am … [Read more...]
Sorry Not Sorry: Why I’m Over Playing the Role of “Sweetheart”
When I was a little girl, I was always the bossy friend. I would be the one to dictate the games we played and who played what role. When I was in middle school, I was the easy one. I wanted to be accepted by anyone and everyone, so I submitted. In my early years of high school, I was always the bitch. I didn't value people who talked to me as though I were less than human, … [Read more...]
Fellow White Women: We Learned to Be Complicit with Oppression — Now We Must Become Brave
This article was originally published on louisaleontiades.com as "The Cowardice of White Women: Learning to Resist" and is republished with permission. Some questions you don’t expect to have to ask in your lifetime, let alone answer. But with the rise of Trumpian fascism, a question has consistently rattled around my white woman’s brain: At what point would I put my own life … [Read more...]
Calling Fellow Cis Men: Why We Can’t Stay Silent About Reproductive Justice
I have never made it a secret that for a lengthy period of time in my life, I identified as pro-life. For a time, it was a decision related to the Catholic faith I was raised in. Later, even after leaving Catholicism behind, I maintained my position on something resembling a well-meaning but simplistic ethical basis. I say this with no hint of pride or irony: when I was … [Read more...]
How It Impacts Me as a Queer Woman When Friends Call Each Other “Girl Friends”
As I continue to settle into a queer identity, certain words and their meanings seem to do the exact opposite of settling in. They don't sit still. Words I've never been comfortable using have become part of my regular vocabulary, and words that have never really affected me before suddenly have an unpleasant edge. Like other people, my relationship with words is very much a … [Read more...]
10 Mujeres Queer y Personas No-Binarias de Color que usan los Medios de Comunicación y el Arte para liberarse
El arte, en cualquiera de sus géneros y variaciones, ha sido usado como herramienta no sólo de autoexpresión, sino también de activismo. Estamos observando la evolución del arte en espacios políticos: la poesía de la palabra hablada se abre paso desde los agujeros oscuros en la pared a los grandes medios de comunicación con poetas que son exhibidos en series de televisión y … [Read more...]
Why We Need to Stop Shaming Teen Parents
In recent years, teen pregnancy in the US has been at an all -time low. From 2012 to 2013, teen birth rates decreased among 15–19 year olds by 9% for non-Hispanic whites and 11% for non-Hispanic blacks. If there are fewer teenage pregnancies, why is it that so many people still make it such a shameful thing to be pregnant as a teenager? I’ve heard people say that teenagers back … [Read more...]
Women Don’t Need to Say “I’m Sorry” Less — Men Need to Say it More
Many purportedly feminist articles, memes, and other “self-help” that tells people what to do have been urging women to “Apologize Less!” or “Stop Saying Sorry”. The advice comes from the idea that women should not apologize for things that are not their fault and should be more like men and take up space without worrying about what other people think. Fuck that. Women Don’t … [Read more...]
“You Sure Are Hot FOR an Asian Girl” and Other Ways Words Devalue People of Color
What do I look like? To linguistically dissect the parts of my body, to cut it apart with words, means to twist and twine it with conjunctions. This is my physical appearance: I am on the shorter side of the human height spectrum at five feet, two inches (well actually, five feet and two and three-quarters, excuse me). I am thin. I have a small nose, small ears, and small … [Read more...]
