As we roll ever closer to the U.S. presidential election, along with waking up to more news of police violence against people of color, self-care is likely going to be high on all of our to-do lists. For many, like me, self-care also becomes a necessity as the days start to get darker. I’m a big believer that the ways we care for ourselves are as varied and individual as we … [Read more...]
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7 Self-Care Tips for Parents of Young Kids
This article was originally published on Ravishly.com and is republished with permission. Feeling guilty won’t help your kids, but it sure will fuck you up. It started when my wife saw an old Facebook post of hers, one which equated sleeping in with self-care, saying something to the effect of, “wow sleeping 12 hours was exactly what I needed!” It was 5 … [Read more...]
Just Try: Autism and Love
Photograph by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg [Image description: The photograph shows a monarch butterfly holding onto a leaf, with the sun shining through its wings.] I can tell you about fifteen hours a week of therapy. I can tell you about speech delays, sensory processing disorder, language processing disorder and social anxiety. I can tell you about impaired motor … [Read more...]
Surviving Crisis: How To Make It Through When Everything Falls Apart
As 2012 rolled into 2013, the following three things happened in the span of one and a half months: The girl I thought I’d one day marry very suddenly told me she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I went on anti-anxiety meds, which made me feel like I had the flu, and when I tried to go off them, I ended up in the emergency room. My mother’s breast cancer came back … [Read more...]
Surviving PTSD: The Beginning of Healing
Last week, I was diagnosed with PTSD. It was somewhat expected. I was not provided with proper mental health care when I was a child, and those who could have provided it were my abusers. So it was not a good situation. Women in my culture are forever minors, with custody transferred from the father, to the brother, to the uncle, or to the husband. I am still considered a … [Read more...]
Healing the Wounds of Growing Up in a Fat-Shaming Family
In the immortal words of Brianna in the classic film Bring It On: All or Nothing, "I've always had a big ass. It runs in my family. We're a big-assed family." My family never used to do “thin” well. My father hovered between “normal” and “more to love,” my mother had a substantially emphasised hourglass shape, and both of my younger brothers were noticeably chubby. As for me? … [Read more...]
When I Broke Up With My Diet
[Content Warning: Some swearing and weight-loss/diet talk.] Up until about four years ago, I was in a long-term relationship. It had lasted, on and off, for fifteen years, and whenever we were together, it was the most intense relationship I’ve ever had. But it was a bad relationship, based on false hopes and promises of a better life, while giving me nothing much but … [Read more...]
Catfish: Queer and Trans Identity on Television and the Internet
I’ve always been reserved. When I was a kid, I was called shy. When I was a teenager, people said I was awkward. Now that I’m an adult, I’m considered an introvert. All of these descriptors have been various ways to identify my difficulties talking with people. Having to talk to people, especially people I don’t know, causes me anxiety. One of my most memorable examples is my … [Read more...]
Calling Out Race in Street Harassment
Few of us can forget the Hollaback video that circulated on the Internet in 2014. It showed us a white woman, in jeans and a T-shirt, walking the streets of New York for ten hours, enduring over 100 cat-calls, wolf-whistles, unsolicited comments, and unwanted attention. When we first viewed the video, I’m sure many women like me could relate because we have experienced the very … [Read more...]
Mixed Mama Blues: My First Year of Protective Motherhood in the Age of #BlackLivesMatter
Over the last year I have gotten married, had a baby, switched jobs and moved half way across country, all while being depressed and scared of the dangers all around me. Like the world was moving too fast and I needed a pause button. What I honestly imagined would be a “sabbatical writing retreat” otherwise known as my 6 weeks of maternity leave, turned out to be the most … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Manage PTSD When It Feels Like PTSD Is Managing You
One of the greatest challenges in living with PTSD is the feeling that most days it’s deciding what I can do and when and how. There are days when I can balance caring for my emotional wellbeing with taking action to create positive change in the world. But most days, even though I want to fight for social justice, I really don’t want to leave my bedroom. Or even if I want to, … [Read more...]
Full Pussy Mooning
[Sexually explicit content] [Image description: The watercolor painting shows a landscape of green trees, hills, and meadows with a quarter-moon waxing to full against a darkening beige sky. Copyright Nomy Lamm.] Every night, the moon changes. Dancing, shifting, like a long slow wink or an elaborate fan dance. She is dark, hiding, then a fingernail of light; waxing, … [Read more...]
“Restoration is Necessary:” Internationally Acclaimed Percussionist & Healer Talks Pathways to Radical Self-Care
When I dialed into my interview with Afia, I was struggling with my own levels of trauma and depression, due to the recent viewings of Black men killed by police and other onslaughts of violence spread across the nation. My head still grainy, my heart still weighted and within just the first 30 minutes of our call we both shed tears. We both allowed ourselves to be moved, … [Read more...]
7 Ways to Manage Your Anxiety in These Turbulent Times
There is no denying that 2017 has been a difficult year in politics. As well as the unmitigated disaster that is the Trump-led presidency, other countries have been dealing with their own unfortunate political events. The UK underwent a snap election that resulted in the Tory government having an even more tenuous hold of the House of Commons than it had held before. Australia … [Read more...]
What Do We Do When We Can’t Afford to Boycott?: The Challenges of Ethical Consumption
Ever heard of Buycott? I can’t exactly remember how I stumbled across this smartphone app, but it was simultaneously one of the most exciting and exhausting downloads I have ever made. The basic premise is that you sign up for campaigns you care about, ranging from BDS of Israel to products containing palm oil to companies that lobby for animal testing and union busting. Then … [Read more...]
To Hell With Fatphobia? Working Through the Contradictions of Weight Loss and Body Positivity
Weight loss is a topic that has loomed over me my entire life. As I have shared many times before, I was always a “chubby kid” or “fat kid” in my schools and my neighborhood group of friends. This led to nearly daily bullying from my so-called “friends,” and I often wished I could just cut the fatness out to make it all go away. These feelings worsened in middle school when a … [Read more...]
The Right and Wrong Way to Talk About the Generations
If you’ve never seen HBO’s The Newsroom, it’s pretty standard as far as Aaron Sorkin creations go. It features a severely under-diversified cast; generic current-event references that high-five those who get them while not alienating those who don’t; dialogue that must be read at hail-storm tempos just to stay within running time; and, of course, a white, cis-male protagonist … [Read more...]
10 Defensive Reactions to White Privilege That Make No Damn Sense – But Are Super Common
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism and is reprinted by permission. I know it probably makes me a weirdo to want to talk about white privilege so much, but I actually enjoy conversations on this topic – even with people who disagree with me. Sure, these conversations can get heated, uncomfortable, and downright aggravating. But they’re also necessary in order … [Read more...]
